Others · Pen Names and Privacy

Edited: Pen Names and Privacy

Some of you may not know that I used to write novels, but currently, I’m on an indefinite break. I’m slowly putting my life in order and I hope I’ll get back to writing very, very soon.

When I was writing then, I use my real name as my author name. I also use my real name on all of my social media accounts.

So what’s my point here? Basically, I cannot use my real name anymore. I will be using my nickname from now on.

Many people may not know that I was cyber bullied for more than a year now. It all started last March 13, 2016, with a simple tweet about me and my boyfriend. It wasn’t harsh at first look, but knowing whom it came from, it sounded so bitter. I confronted the person. The “bullying” stopped or so I thought. August 2016 when the same person humiliated me in Facebook, claiming that I bullied her with matching “evidence”, but how will we know if it’s true? I talked to that person again to the point that I’m begging her to stop. But she didn’t, so I blocked her from all my social media accounts.

And the worse phase of bullying began.

It took me a numerous Twitter accounts just to avoid that person. Privacy settings aren’t enough if the bully is a hacker. Someone tried to hack my Gmail, Yahoo, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram accounts, not just once, but almost every week. I continuously received hate messages and tweets from numerous dummy accounts. I knew who is behind this, but I have no concrete evidence. And the funny part is, that person is claiming that she’s the one being bullied. Still, don’t know if everything she says is true. And I have no choice but to be immune to all the hate.

Until last May 23, 2017, I received a message from her. To make it on point, she’s apologizing for everything. Maybe you wonder how she managed to message me if I blocked her. Well, I unblocked her last January 2017 just for her to see that I am going strong.

So back to the apologizing part, after I spat out all the rants to her, I still forgave her for the nth time. Doesn’t matter. I thought everything will be okay. We already allowed each other to our respective social media accounts, until I received another hate tweet from a dummy account bearing her name. And oh, I also received a message from her so-called friend with screenshots of all her hate and bad things she says about me.

That’s when I snapped.

I messaged her telling about the bully and her so-called friend.

And guess what I got?

She just said she has nothing to explain to me.

That made me angry and I demanded a public apology just for everything to stop. If she’s genuine and really sorry, why bother to hold back with a public apology if, in the first place, she has the guts to humiliate me? And if she’s not really the one behind all these bullyings, maybe after her public apology, the bully will stop. Just maybe. Who knows?

But maybe, that’s the thing with too proud people. They won’t step down and eat their pride. They cannot be genuine because they are full of themselves. They cannot accept the fact that they’re the ones who caused the damage.

In the end, I begged again. And I know that was a mistake. But I am desperate for peace of mind. In return, I got all the blame.

And that’s when I decided to deactivate my Facebook account for good. I’m tired of another drama and humiliation. And last week, I deleted my personal Instagram.

The month of July is such a roller coaster for us. She claimed that it is her birth month so she decided to mute me for a while in Facebook. Same as saying “It’s my birth month, I’m entitled to be a bitch.” This is before I deactivated my account. Okay, I just want to be clear with this. I deactivated my account BUT I reactivated it again because I needed to post something for my relatives to see. So my account was reactivated for four consecutive days. And one of those days is her birthday. So being the basic bitch she is after I greeted her “happy birthday”, she put me in her Restricted List.

You know what happens when you are on the Restricted List of your friend on Facebook? You’re friends, but you only see their public posts. It’s like unfriending someone but not really. And by the way, she also unlisted me in her follower’s list in her Instagram account and set it in private.

Then on the very next day, I checked her Instagram again. It is not private anymore. And I am not on the Restricted List on her Facebook. 

So that’s when I seek help from one of her friends. I messaged this girl (her college friend, I think) and asked her if she is just like that.

And I am surprised to know that she and her friend is not in good terms. They are not talking to each other and not friends in Facebook anymore. 

Do you get it? 

The friend said that this girl has the habit of giving you a silent treatment and cutting ties, burning the bridges without even telling you what’s wrong. I was surprised, man. Because she did it to her friend, too. Where in fact, her friend doesn’t even know the reason. 

So, I deactivated my Facebook again for a while. And reactivated it again for the sake of Game of Thrones updates and rants (I know!!!). 

And this is what happened: SHE UNFRIENDED ME ON FACEBOOK.

FINALLY!

So, I messaged her, for the last time, thanking for her guts to unfriend me (because that’s where she’s only good at). But I told her what I’ve discovered — that I’m not her only victim, but as well her friend. I wished her luck with her life and advised her to seek help from the expert because she might need psychological help. 

AND THEN I BLOCKED HER SO SHE WON’T HAVE A CHANCE TO GIVE A COMEBACK. I BLOCKED HER IN ALL MY SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNTS. THAT WILL BE THE END. I WILL NEVER GIVE HER THE CHANCE AGAIN. 

NEVER.

And now, I am free again, I think. I reactivated my Facebook and personal Instagram accounts. And I use my nickname to all my public accounts. But still, I won’t use my real name in my writings. But my face will be here for you to see. LOL!

And now, I’ve decided to not use my real name in my writings and in all of my social media accounts. Also, my face will be hidden soon to avoid any attack. (LOL!)

As to writing life, I know, my real name is not that marketable/suitable or whatever. Because one, I have the same name as the international pop star. Two, my surname sounded like a little bit historical. And third, it didn’t look good on multiple genres that I am writing.

And using a pseudonym saves my privacy even for the tiniest bit.

So, for those who know me personally, please, please, keep it a secret and for those who don’t, just be happy knowing me for this name

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